I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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