I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
