we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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