Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
