Buhtt sex?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
