my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
