Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i think i just lost a toe
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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