A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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