I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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