I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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