It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
