We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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