I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
