allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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