I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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