i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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