i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
