The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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