operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
