i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
