i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
