so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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