Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
