He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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