he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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