he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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