NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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