i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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