I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
