The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
