Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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