I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
