You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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