i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
