so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
