i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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