the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
