where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
so much tequila, so little girl.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
