is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
