Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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