I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
