you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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