dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
