we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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