Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
