I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize