so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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