as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
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I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
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I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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