My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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