i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
