All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
