What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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