Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
