I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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