I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
