I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
