I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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