I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
