I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
