but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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