he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I can't turn off my feet"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.