So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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