If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
