Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
