i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
please don't ironically join a cult
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