Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize